Mess

It’s been a long while since I’ve written but, you know, I think about it all the time. My mind is always pumping out little quips and wordy morsels that would be SO GREAT in a blog post. I have a whole stash of quips and morsels but they’re like trinkets you pick up along the way, taking up space and collecting dust and making you wonder what was so great about this thing in the first place anyway. I need to clear out my noggin.

My Old Lady

A close friend of mine comes from an even closer-knit family, and her aunt sadly passed away earlier this month. Aunt Helen’s death was a blow to friends and family and will continue to be for the times ahead but it was also a final reprieve from the terrible physical pain she endured during the final chapter of her life.

It was beautiful to see Aunt Helen’s legacy apparent through all the loved ones who spoke or sang during the memorial. The best parts of her humanity were exemplified in flesh and blood in her daughter and granddaughter. Their poise and strength reflected her. Their stories celebrated her.

Personal Best: 05/01/17, 05/08/17, 05/15/17

We’re almost at the halfway mark of 2017 and, wow, I’m behind on posting my “personal best” photos. To be honest, I don’t really see the point. Who’s looking at this or even cares about it? Plus, as I spend more and more time looking at photos out in the world, I am starting to get a sense of what images are “popular” and which are not, and it feels demoralizing to stick to what I think is good rather than post images that I know will be generally liked. I had to take a moment to remind myself that I am not doing this for someone else’s eyes/likes/approval. This is a way for me to mark my progression as a photographer and to remember the things I saw and mulled over while being alive in the world. Of course, if your eyeballs do land on these images and you have thoughts, please do let me know. I would love to hear from you.

Personal Best: 04/10/17

I was barely getting over my lack of sleep during the 24 Hour Project when my sister went into labor on Monday. Observing my sister during the last nine months and hearing how things went once she went into the hospital made me realize anew that everything about human life is pretty tough: the making of a human, the birthing of a human, the keeping alive of a human (not to mention all the rest of it). Thankfully, I had no part in making or birthing the squirmy, floppy, helpless newborn nephew but I, along with my mom, was pretty busy keeping his curious, confused, demanding, bouncing-off-the-wall siblings alive while my sister/their mother recuperated and kept the aforementioned newborn alive. I barely made it out alive myself. I don’t know how moms and dads do it.

Personal Best: 04/03/17 (Laura)

It’s tough to think about a personal best for the week. I’m still feeling pretty wiped from the 24 Hour Project weekend (more on that soon). My eyes keep wanting to shut as I type this. Also, I haven’t had a chance to really look through all the photos, not just from the 24 Hour Project but from all of last week. So instead of a set of my “best,” I am posting two images of a woman who’s been on my mind since I met her around 6am on Saturday.

Personal Best: 2/6/17 (Also the Sublime)

I only took two photos last week because I made myself sick and was stuck in bed. I have this terrible habit of staying up very, very late, doing nothing in particular — no big deadlines, no anxiety-inducing dilemma — except kicking my immune system in the nuts until it gives up. I think I do it to distract myself from being grown-up and responsible and dealing with life. I’m embarrassed that I do this, and it’s certainly not enjoyable or helpful, but I haven’t figured out how to stop.

The same world where I re-watch old episodes of the Graham Norton Show and 30 Rock until 3am is also home to this kind of sublime beauty:

Silver Lake, Los Angeles | February 1

Pile of Cocoa

Cheese smells like funky toes and chocolate looks like poop. These are facts of life.

I baked a dry, mediocre chocolate cake with an identity crisis over the weekend and then a pretty decent, middle-of-the-road chocolate cake yesterday. Third time’s the charm, they say, and so today I baked my idea of the perfect chocolate cake. It was moist (sorry) with a flavor that was deep and rich without the common smash-your-face-against-the-wall-like-a-big-muscles-no-brain-bookie-come-to-collect chocolatey-ness. The addition of preserved morello cherries, almond extract and instant coffee brought in the elevated nuances.

Personal Best: 01/23/17

I finally watched former President Barack Obama’s farewell address today. The onslaught of staccatos from life and culture and current affairs is too much to take on in real time. I need to take things at my own pace, choose what I take. On a gray Monday morning, two weeks after the actual speech, I snuggled into a time machine for one, listening, watching, pausing, rewinding, listening again, watching again. Maybe in March I’ll ponder this new Trump era.

30 Sentences: Ritzel

Ritzel is one of my favorite human beings. She’s been my little sister Jennifer’s BFF since junior high so that pretty much makes her my other little sister, even if she never had to live through my reign of terror. Poor Jennifer.

Ritzel thought that participating in the sentence-a-day project and sharing her writing with a roomful of strangers was risky business. Rather than bow out, though, she took it on as an opportunity to be brave. On the day of the readings, Ritzel displayed some tell-tale signs of having the jitters. But as the sentences began to fall from her lips one by one, the rest of us wondered what she had to be nervous about. Her writing as well as the real-life story — with artistic embellishments and name changes — were utterly charming and sweet, just like Ritzel herself.